Beautiful... inside and out

When I was a little girl I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world.

I would tell her this and she would often reply, "beauty is only skin deep," as if to say don't be fooled by appearances.  But this confused me because her beauty was so evident that even as a child I knew her to be beautiful, inside and out.

Today people still comment on her beauty, and still she doesn't see it.  Oh sure, if she looks to the past she sees it; but not now, not in the present. 

Sometimes I think about everything she's been through and how the bravery that she doesn't recognize in herself shines through for everyone to see.

It's like that with her beauty, I guess; it's obvious to everyone but her:

her smile is so radiant it lights up a room;

her laugh makes you happy, 

even when happy is the furthest thing from your mind;

and her heart is so open to those she loves

that you can't help but feel loved in her presence.

However, I think it's more - much more than all this - that makes her truly beautiful.  Although clearly visible on the outside, her real beauty comes from somewhere deep inside; where she hides it from herself but cannot hide it from others.  My wish on this very special day is for her to finally realize what those of us who love her have known all along...

When I was a little girl I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world.  Today I know she is... because she is beautiful inside and out.

Happy birthday my beautiful friend... love you always and forever ♥♥

Always in my heart

One hundred years ago today, a very special person was born.  Her name was Noëlla and she was the tenth in a family of twelve children.  Everyone who knew her loved her.  She was quiet and unassuming, but she was an incredibly strong woman.  Her accomplishments were many.  She was a very talented, avant-garde seamstress, she learned to swim at 65 and paint at 75.  She had very delicate hands, which I loved to watch when she worked. I admired and looked up to her, and learned so much from her.  She was an incredible cook, with baking being her specialty, and I learned everything I know from her.
  
Unfortunately words cannot even come close to describing how wonderful she was.  Suffice it to say she was a very special woman, one of the most special in my life, and I miss her more than words can say.

Bonne Fête Grandmaman  ♥♥♥

Letting go

That seems to be the lesson life is trying to teach me these days.  How important - and imperative - it is to learn to let go.  Most times when I do let go and it's a good thing, it's because it happened by accident, or it was the by-product of something else I did.  Mostly, though, for me letting go is a painful process.

Intellectually I know what I must do...  so why is doing it so difficult?

Funny thing is, it's showing up all over the place, almost as if pushing me to finally learn the lesson, once and for all.

This is the nudge I got from life today:

You have great powers to change yourself.
You have little power to change others.
You struggle because you believe the opposite is true. 

I am learning that it is best to love others for who they are, and trust that what they are going through is necessary for their own personal growth - and not to stand in their way by trying to "fix" things for them.

There is something big that I really must let go of and, although it wouldn't be my choice to do so, I know it's necessary.  So before life decides to teach me a lesson I don't want to learn, I'll start by taking this lesson and making it mine.  I will let go... and see what happens.

Maybe... just maybe... all you can do is love with all you have inside of you.  And maybe that love will heal your wounds (T. St. Cloud)

Maybe...

That little girl inside

She's there, I know she is, because she comes out every once in a while and makes her presence known.

It wasn't until recently that I became conscious of her.  She would peek out every now and then but I never really payed much attention before.  It started out as a feeling, a longing, that happened at particular times and would leave me feeling melancholic mostly.  Other times I would feel almost giddy with happiness.  These feelings would come on suddenly and quite powerfully, but I never really stopped to question what they were or where they were coming from.

The more I pay attention and the more familiar I become with her, the more I realize that it is in certain circumstances and with one person in particular that she shows herself the most.  And now that I think about it, this person that brings her out in me - my second Mom - always has.  She has always allowed me to be me and only now, when I can let that little girl inside roam free, do I realize what a gift that is.

I would venture to guess that most people do not dare give their inner child free rein; but it is such a liberating feeling that I would recommend it to anyone.  It's not that I do it much, or often, but when I do it's magical, and I am so very grateful to my second Mom for giving me this very special gift.

I love you, Mom2... and so does your little girl ❥❥❥

Love the ones you're with

This is a plea from me to you... cherish the time you spend with those you love.

Yesterday, as I was getting ready to go to my Mom's for a Thanksgiving lunch she was having for my Aunt and me (yes, I know it's American Thanksgiving and that ours was last month, but it's ok to give thanks any time, isn't it?)... as I was saying, while getting ready to leave something occurred to me: I really take all this for granted.  It didn't seem like such a big deal to me, spending Saturday afternoon with my Mom and my Aunt; it didn't, that is, until it hit me that there may just be more times spent with them behind me than those still to happen.

As we sat at the kitchen table, long after lunch was over, I consciously immersed myself in the moment.  I listened to the intonation in my Aunt's voice, saying things the way only she can say them; I noticed the expressions they used, things I remembered hearing their aunts & uncles say; I watched the charming way my Mom sometimes covers her mouth when she laughs, which reminds me so much of my beloved Grandmother; and I held in my heart the obvious love passing between the three of us.  It didn't matter what time it was, we just talked and talked as if that was all there was to do, and it was so wonderful.  I came away from there feeling whole and refreshed, and realizing that I had once again learned things about my family that I had never known (like the fact that my Grandfather's favourite saint was St-Francis of Assisi, who has also always been my favourite saint!)

It is so easy to take these wonderful moments together for granted and expect that they will always happen.  People who have been in our lives forever - family members, dear, close friends - are the people we most need to be consciously thankful for because they are the ones who have helped shape us into who we are.  And they are the people we will miss the most once they're gone.

It is so important to realize that time spent with loved ones is precious and that we should cherish every moment we spend together. 

Small victories

Sometimes in life you've got to grab hold of and hang onto those small victories.

It's not easy when doubt is always trying to come and snatch them away, minimize them, or make them seem unimportant.

However, those small victories may just prove, in the long run, to be turning points - or even big victories - when we look back on them.

It's easy to get caught up in the doubt that makes those small victories seem smaller and smaller until soon enough they seem almost insignificant.  But it is oh so important to cherish them as these small victories are what help us move forward.

And it's not just our own small victories that we must celebrate.  We must help others recognize and celebrate their own small victories.

So this week, no matter what's going on in your life, take a second look at recent small victories, yours and those of people close to you, and celebrate them.  You'll feel better for it, guaranteed ❥❥❥

Sacred Sundays

Sundays can sometimes be difficult days for me.

Oh they start out well enough: a good breakfast lovingly prepared for me by me, classical music wafting through the house, freshly brewed coffee savoured slowly, a good book or a long walk outside.  However, as the day wears on I feel the heaviness of the chores weighing on me, the quiet house gets quieter, and with every passing hour I feel more and more isolated.  If I give into the mood that usually accompanies all of this, I don't accomplish much and end the day feeling anxious.

However on days like today, knowing full well how things can go, if I make up my mind that it will be a good day and not stress about what needs to be done but rather just go with the flow of the day and feel good about it, at the end of the day I feel good about myself and my Sunday feels almost sacred.

That's what happened today.  I woke up feeling good and decided that that would be the prevailing mood of my day; and I knew just what I needed to do to ensure that this would be so.  First I let my creativity loose and took some pictures of the autumn leaves in my yard.  Then, this afternoon I went to visit someone very special, someone who has been in my life forever and who means the world to me.  I knew that sitting with her and feeling her love would do me the world of good.  And indeed it did ♥ I left there feeling content and knew the rest of my day would be good.

Life is really what we make it... and Sundays can be sacred if we allow them to be.
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