Thursday, July 19, 2012

Listening to myself

I think it's time I start listening to myself.

I mean really listening.

It's time I start listening to what my heart is telling me, instead of letting my fear take over.

It's all about trust, isn't it?  Trust that my heart knows what's best.  Trust that I am enough.

But what if listening to myself takes me away from what's comfortable?  What then?

What if it takes me away from the people, places, and things that I know to places unknown?  What do I do then?

Well, maybe it's time to take the plunge and find out.

Maybe it's like the quote from Rumi says:

"I have been a seeker and still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars.  I started listening to the teaching of my Soul."

Still feeling my way around this... but it's starting to feel right.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

The gift

Recently, someone I love dearly gave me a very special gift.

Although it took me a bit to realize that it was a gift, now I see that it truly was and I am so very grateful to her for it.


You see, when the situation first presented itself, it felt like my heart would break, like my world would never be the same - or whole - ever again.  But as I sat with what I was feeling, and with great difficulty tried to accept it for what it was, I began to see things in a very different light.  I began to see myself in a different light, as if seeing myself for the very first time.  Some of the things that came up were not easy to deal with, and some of those things will require a lot more work; but having to go through this allowed me to see how much inner strength I actually have, and how resilient my spirit can be.

When I found out why she'd done it - to protect me - and how difficult it had been for her to do, that's when I realized what a truly special gift she had given me.  I felt so very loved; my heart - and my world - once again became whole.

The more I live this life, really live it, in the present, I realize how truly blessed I am and wish everyone could feel this good.

Wishing you all a very happy Sunday

Saturday, June 9, 2012

On my morning walk

The sun on my face...

               The breeze in my hair....

                                The birds chirping away...
And this:



 


  





Tell me... how can I not feel blessed?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Hospital adventures... or how a cute doctor helps take the edge off

So I spent 5 hours in Emergency at the Lakeshore last night but I have to say, it all passed rather quickly. 

I'd brought along my newest read, a great book by Melody Beattie, because I knew the wait would be long and, between being engrossed in this book and everyone coming to check in on me every few minutes, I felt rather good.  I know it sounds funny, but I felt like I knew that everything would be alright.  I think the doctors & nurses paid extra attention to me because I was on my own, which was nice.  Whenever the doctor with the winning smile walked in, I'd look up from my book and, no matter what he was saying, I just had this deep sense that all was as it should be.

In the end, everything turned out to be ok, and all the precautionary measures helped ease the uneasiness I had been feeling all day, but really it was the staff at the Lakeshore that made me feel that everything was already alright.  I'm sure the book I was reading had something to do with it, too :)

Aaaahhh the power of staying calm...

Monday, May 21, 2012

So glad to be alive

Every year at this time it hits me... how glad I am to be alive.

On my walk this morning I was so struck by this thought.  It felt like a totally new thought, something that I'd suddenly discovered.  I was sort of tickled by this because I know for a fact that I get this feeling every spring.  But it's nice to feel like each time is the first time :)

This morning the birds were chirping, the breeze was blowing, the new leaves were being caressed oh so gently, and the blossoms in the trees were giving off such a sweet scent.   It really felt like I was in an ocean of goodness.

It seems to me that spring has never smelled so sweet nor has it sounded so lovely.  Or maybe I'm just noticing it more now than ever before.  In trying to be more mindful, I appreciate things that I only seemed to notice in passing before.  The frogs in our backyard, who only sing on coolish nights, the cardinal who seems to have taken up residence in my big maple tree out back, the smell the cedars give off all evening after they've been trimmed, the sheer number of birds that sing in the early morning and at dusk - a veritable concert - all these things never seemed to enter my consciousness before and, if they did, it was just in passing.  This year, however, all of this seems to be amplified.  I seem to be in constant communion with nature when I'm home and it feels so good, so right. 

Today they're calling for 27〫(81〫for those in Fahrenheit) and it looks like we might already be there.  Quite warm for spring, but I'll take it.  Feels like a good day for taking care of me... reading a book in the warm breeze blowing in from outside, sipping lemon water and listening to calm, relaxing music... yes, today I'm definitely glad to be alive ♡♥♡

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Just as it should be

How easy it is when things are going right to think that everything is just as it should be.

In times of difficulty, however, we tend to forget that everything happens for a reason and that, more often than not, things really do turn out for the best in the end.  Oh but when we're in it, it can be really hard to see... but not impossible.

It's called taking a step back and just watching - instead of obsessing, worrying, and stressing.  If you are able to take a step back, just for a moment and observe, you'll be amazed at how different the situation can look.  

Things may not always be as bad as they first seem.  Sometimes they're nothing like what you had first imagined them to be.  Just think of all the times you fretted about something and lived through a crisis that never actually happened.  It's so easy to do and it's a trap we fall into all too often.  But it doesn't have to be that way.

So try it, take a step back and see what happens... I bet you'll be amazed.

I was.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Learning to let go


Sometimes in life you have to know when to let go. 

And although it may not seem like it at the time, it's usually a blessing in disguise.  It's life telling you that a situation is not right and that something must be done about it. 

When life presents you with an opportunity and you don't take it, it usually looks for another way to try and convince you.  And each time you decline the offer it gets more and more insistent, until one day you have no choice but to accept.

So maybe it is time for me to learn to let go... but how?

I guess therein lies the opportunity.