Sunday, April 13, 2014

Being seen

In an article I was reading online today, a line jumped out at me:

"I am not used to being seen"

As I read it, someone I care about deeply came to mind and I thought, yeah, she really isn't used to being seen, and the thought made me infinitely sad.

Then I had another thought.  People often serve as mirrors for us, especially those that we seem drawn towards for no apparent reason.  As my friend is fond of saying, every projection finds its appropriate screen, and often what we think we're seeing in others is only a projection of what lies within ourselves.

So the question then became, am I not used to being seen?

Hmmmmm.  An interesting question indeed.  I'm so used to the focus of most of my relationships being on the other person that, yeah, I guess I'm not used to being seen.  Does that make me as sad for myself as what I felt when I thought about my friend not being seen?  No, I don't think so, but it does make me feel like maybe I need to be seen more.

Can relationships exist where both people are equally seen and heard?  The answer to that I know is yes because I am involved in one right now, and it's very revealing for me in all kinds of wonderful ways.  It has opened my eyes to a great many things, one of which is the predictable pattern of most of my relationships.  And now I see that the idea of being seen, or not seen, is something that I need to explore some more.

I think deep down we all want to be seen, and to be loved for who we are, not what we do or what we can give to others.  We want to be accepted just for being who we are.  And so being seen, for that reason, becomes very important... even when one is not used to being seen.  Yes, it is very important indeed.

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